


Five times Tarjei smiled instead of crying (and one time he cried when he should have laughed)

by cigarettesandalcohol



Category: Biathlon RPF
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:42:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23144884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cigarettesandalcohol/pseuds/cigarettesandalcohol
Summary: He would never let anything ruin his image of 'a smiley boy'.Almost never.
Relationships: Tarjei Boe/Emil Hegle Svendsen
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Five times Tarjei smiled instead of crying (and one time he cried when he should have laughed)

I.

He adored Johannes and he would rather die than see anything happen to him; but when he was beaten by his younger brother for the first time - by his little, ginger, freckled brother - he felt angry. He had thought he'd had a perfect race. What else should he do? It wasn't possible for Johannes to be better than him, no, there must have been some mistake - or cheating - he's older and he definitely deserves the win more - 

Then he saw Johannes' happiness in the finish. He couldn't be angry with him. He hugged him and patted him on the head. 

"Congrats."

It was Johannes who cried that day. Tarjei just laughed, still holding him around shoulders.

He had to accept he's no longer the best Boe around.

II.

When his illness became a public secret, a reporter came to do an interview with him.

"How do you spend your time now, that you can't train with the rest of the team?"

He tried to joke about it. He can relax, after all. Take some time off. The others need to work their socks off, not him - he'll just watch the races and keep his fingers crossed. But he'll miss the excitement.

The training.

The familiar places.

The people from other teams.

_Emil._

He just smiled and nodded. Tears had no chance.

III.

He felt like he's fallen in love with Emil at first sight. Maybe it was just admiration at first. Maybe he just liked him.

Then they got drunk together a few times - with the two of them, the nights were full of honest discussions and arguments. He wanted to be close to SuperSvendsen. And one night, there was no way back. After too many shots of vodka, their heads were still closer and closer; the laughter got louder and more annoying, and the touches grew frequent. They kissed for a couple of minutes. Tarjei wanted to dissolve in Emil's arms; he was breathing with him, holding onto his hair and pressing himself on the SuperSvendsen's chest.

They broke the kiss - and Tarjei waited; he expected an answer or maybe even a question or a confession, any words, really. He wouldn't be mad if they just carried on kissing.

Emil just threw his head back onto the pillow - and fell asleep.

When he woke up in the morning, Tarjei was wide awake already.

"God - how did we even get in here?"

He was getting up with obvious difficulty, his body probably hurting.

"I had to practically carry you from the bar - "

Svendsen rubbed his eyes. "I blacked out after like the fifth shot - " He squinted, looking at Tarjei, who was giving him the opportunity to _remember_. "That's embarrassing, huh?"

His look was just empty and clueless.

Tarjei had to laugh to have an excuse for the tears that flooded his eyes.

IV.

"This has never happened, right?"

At that moment, Tarjei was genuinely afraid of Svendsen. They weren't even properly dressed yet. As soon as he got from the floor and wiped his lips with at least the back of his hand, Emil had him almost swearing on his dear life.

" _Right_?" he repeated, louder.

It wasn't a threat, not at all. Svendsen doesn't threaten people - it was just a simple reminder.

As if Tarjei would ever act against Emil's wish. "Don't worry," he managed to say, unable to get rid of the loving tone. " _Never_."

Emil seemed calmer now. He even smiled.

Tarjei reacted immediately. "But if you ever wanted to do it - "

SuperSvendsen's smile disappeared as abruptly as it had appeared. 

Tarjei laughed nervously, wishing he was dead. "I haven't said anything."

V.

He learned it from Instagram, not from Svendsen himself. He saw it as soon as he woke up, just as he checked his own account - the photo of Samantha and simple description: _I still can't believe she said yes_!

And an emoji of a ring.

It struck him like a lightning.

 _What has never happened_ actually happened quite regularly - even last week. During the last races.

Emil could have at least indicate his intentions - although - how? 

_You know, I wanna marry Samanta. Now, on your knees_.

He wanted to storm into the room next door, where Emil was probably still asleep, and make a scene. Make a _jealous_ scene, in front of anyone - Ole, Lars, Johannes, Erland, anyone, really. 

He could keep his emotions under control, fortunately. He's learned that in the span of the years.

He took a deep breath, smiled and 'liked' the post.

\+ 1

He was genuinely happy for Emil during the Olympics. The whole team was buzzing, loudly, publicly, but he himself was internally happy, in his heart - because he knew how much the Olympics meant for Emil. He was still unable to learn. He was still the same as if Vancouver, Sochi, and Pyongchyanh weren't separated by eight years. He still wished luck to Emil - luck and glory and medals. And medals meant happiness. 

But when Emil came to him after the race and hanged the fresh medal on his neck, he felt lost.

Svendsen, the person who broke his heart multiple times to make him hate him until the doomsday, hanged the bronze medal on Tarjei's neck and said: "This one's for you."

And Tarjei was right there where he'd been at the beginning.

Confused, lost, in love.

He didn't manage to say anything. He couldn't even smile.

Tears were the only possible outcome because Emil's behavior and volatile emotions made him unable to react in any other way. 


End file.
